Anticipation

To tell Jack's story requires going a little further back than his birthday. All looked like we were set to deliver a few weeks early, which we did our best to prepare for in the middle of our move. Without going into detail, I was having some signs, confirmed by the doctor I might add, and Jack was head down, engaged, and ready to go. I was most uncomfortable, and, like most 9 month pregnant ladies are, ready to hold my baby on the outside!

Each day started first with the let down that I woke up for reasons other than contractions. Two weeks before his due date, I slipped on the ice, total arse over tea kettle style so hard that it knocked the wind out of me. The whole time I was trying to catch my breath, all I could think of was... maybe??? But, no, not even then.

To my absolute surprise, as well as that of my doctor, I started my 39th week by actually UNDILATING and feeling amazingly less pressure as the baby moved back up into the womb. All that we could figure was that he had presented himself and knew that he wasn't in the right position, so he took his time to be meticulous and try again, this time doing it right.

However, my blood pressure was skyrocketing, and it seemed that we might need to give him a little nudge, meaning induction.

Now, as a general rule, I am not supportive of inductions. However, I had to have my water broken with two of my three babies to get things going, so I am open to the discussion when they are necessary for the health of mama or baby. So when the doc mentioned the word, rather than being horrified, I will throw the idea out there that I may have been ecstatic. When you are almost sure that the baby is going to come any day, and then three weeks go by, you are mighty anxious to say the least!

Then... my blood pressure stabilized. No induction. And no baby.

So we talked about an elective induction. Brian only had one more week off of work, and my mom was leaving in three weeks. We were ready. The appointment was set for Thursday the 22nd at 6:30am. Such a strange feeling to set your alarm to have a baby. My OB was open to the idea of breaking my waters to induce, and then we would use pitocin if I did not start having contractions.

The doc showed up at 7:00 to give it a try, but the baby was so high that she couldn't access the bag of waters! He wasn't engaged at all!! I tried to hold back my disappointment, and tried a few natural things to kickstart some contractions and get him to descend a bit. All to no luck. She suggested pitocin, but I just had a bad feeling about it all. I couldn't shake the thought that he just wasn't ready and that what we were trying to do to him just wasn't right. I think that Brian was as ready as I was, but after a long talk and lots of tears, we told the doctor that we were not anxious enough to use chemicals to make it happen. And we went home. It was such a let down... I had thought that I would come home with the latest addition to our family... and I am only mentioning my disappointment. Kailyn, Charlie, Aiden, and my mom were pretty bummed, to put it lightly!

But, I knew that I was doing the right thing by Jack, and that's our job as a mama, right? I knew in my heart that he would not stay in there forever... I went through all of my girlfriends that had been pregnant, and they had all delivered their babies at some point. So I went home, took a long shower, and loaded up the kids to go look at Christmas lights and take our minds off things.

And have Mexican food for dinner =).